There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
