it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
