but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
