Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
