i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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