So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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