Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
