i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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