All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
