His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
