I hate your face
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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