your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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