We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
