gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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