Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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