Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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