The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
