Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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