3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
