It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
