i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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