im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm at about main and main street
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
