y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
