Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
being pregnant is like rehab
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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