just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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