Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
