She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i think my tv is drunk
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
