Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
