thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She is in my trunk
I don't think brook has ever known best
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
