We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just found puke in my bra..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
there is glitter all over my balls
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