ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
They have beer where we have blood.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
