Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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