we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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