I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
