Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
