This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
