You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
