I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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