This girl is more easily done than said...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
