This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
