who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize