You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
