I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
