remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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