The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
