I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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