Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
