Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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