I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
