They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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