btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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