I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
