YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
