You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
