Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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