it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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