I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
then he tried to convert me to islam
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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