I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
