lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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