There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
